my health is deteriorating.. cont

terrible feeling just dont go away. i can still feel the food stuck when im lying down on my bed. i dont think its due to indigestion as my constipation getting better these days. throat dysphagia or something?? today, i dont care anymore. i swallowed down four pieces of hawaiian pizza. food still stuck. so how do i make myself get better? i dig my throat to make myself gag and vomit. abit better now. i will keep monitor any drop of my weight and if it does, i probably think i may haf anorexia as well. why i think of that is because im been gaining weight since 5 years ago and just recently, my weight almost hit 60kg! omg!! i haf never been so fat before. the heaviest is 58kg during secondary school time. after that, i been watching my diet closely, counting the calories of the food i taken. 1 week ago, my mom suddenly mentioned to me that i gained weight and my upper arm is bigger than her. it is a huge impact to me!! how can my arm bigger than her?? so angry!! argh!!!! after that, i dont dare to see myself in the mirror because whenever i do that, i always see fat on my tummy, even my clothes cant hide them. i dont go shopping to buy extra large size shirt. it is an insult to me! i stayed at home all the times. no energy at all.. like i say, i will see how my condition before oct travel. i will see doctor if not getting better.. haiz.. will update again..