hyperventilating!

i wont forget this day for the rest of my life. i was inside a train with mom to bugis for lunch. craving for ramen so badly despite many days of low appetite and indigestion. just about to alight, suddenly i felt so dizziness that i squatted down. my mom brought me to sit down after we alighted. the giddiness didnt resolve and got worse. my whole body like jelly. anytime can fell onto the ground. luckily my mom was there to support me. i rested on her thigh for a minute plus. my face and body turned cold, heart pumping fast, perspiring cold sweat and breathing fast. i sat up, i could felt tingling sensation and numbness over my upper and lower limbs. it get stronger and stronger.. i cant move my body, fingers and toes. i tried to speak but i cant. my speech was affected too. i got more and more panic.. i shouted "call ambulance!" my mom called and when the operator ask for exact location, my mother said "outside mrt" to her, if we step out of the train, it meant 'outside mrt' i was panicking and at the same time angry at her, i shouted again with unclear speech "platform!!" after she end the call, i told her to inform mrt staffs so that they can easily direct medics to fetch me without searching. however my mom refused and kept massaging my arms which is no use. as a emergency nurse with ambulance attachment experience, i knew exactly how the process works. an inexperience wanna argue with an experience person, can u feel how mad i am at that point?? i shout even louder again "im a nurse!!! go!!!" this time she willing to listen and went to inform the mrt staffs.

when my mom was away, i can sensed that many eyes are looking at me, even the teenage girl who sat beside me are using her glaze at corner eyes without turning her head. i was so furious!! im just a sick person, not a monster. its fine that nobody offer help but using that kind of stare.. its so wrong! i can foresee that if a person had heart attack, confirm no one will help. anyway, the mrt staffs came, transfer me to a wheelchair and brought me to staff room while waiting for ambulance. medics came shortly and transfer me to a/e. had some tests done that came out normal. it was quite scary for me as this is the first time im having hyperventilation or some sort of panic disorder. hope this will be the first and last time..